With the suicide of a Bollywood actor who was also a good student, the discussions and talks about mental health are being raised everywhere and I believe that it’s a good thing that we have started acknowledging this. An average defence aspirant, whether they are preparing for any forces and any rank, will have to face a time when they will be facing continuous failures. It seems like defence aspirants and failure walks parallel but that’s not for long as they put all of their determination for their goal.
But still, not everyone can withstand that many failures and setbacks and still be optimistic about prospects. We read stories about those candidates who have been recommended in their 10th or 12th attempts and similar but rarely we read stories about those candidates who have given several attempts and in the end weren’t able to join the academy and fulfil their lifelong dream.
Like Sushant Singh Rajput said in his last movie “Chichhore” that, “Everyone has a plan for success but no one has a plan in case of failure” and who can know it better than the SSB aspirants. Most of them have this dream of donning the uniform since their childhood and they start with NDA just after school. This elite institution takes only the chosen few and most of the aspirants don’t make it till there but they don’t give up hope and start their preparations afresh for graduation level entries.
From filling the form of the exam to preparing for it, giving the written exam, going to SSB, medical, and in the end the merit list – elimination is there at every stage and it sends you back to 6 months. A few of them get the recommendation again and again but get merit out while some of the struggles even to get the screen in. No one is higher and no one is lower but still, everyone is fighting their own battles and despite all the odds that they are facing, they tend to inspire and motivate people around them by their continuous perseverance.
But then again we need to accept that despite all the strength and determination we all possess; a few of us break down and need help at times. They need someone to tell them that they have trust in them and in their capabilities despite they weren’t able to join forces. Below are some ways through which we can approach fellow defence aspirants and form a circle of confidence for each other in these hard times.
Reach Out yourself rather than waiting for them: At times it happens that your friend is attending SSB interview and you both know the amount of work you have put for this particular attempt. It may also happen that those expectations come crashing down as he doesn’t get recommended or screened out the very first day. He may or may not express his disappointment and sadness but you will have to be his support during that time. Don’t just leave him on his own after hearing to his result but remain connected to him to motivate him. Listen to his story of 5 days and a description of his performance in every task – it will be long but let him vent it out. When he comes back home then make sure to visit him and take him out for a walk, a movie, or for some fun activities.
Most aspirants tend to have a lot of emotions attached to the SSBs but a few of them take it as a personal failure. Sit with your friend and have healthy discussions over his prospects, current performance and options, career and personal growth and if needed then involve your entire friend circle to support each other. Make sure to reach out to your friends rather than waiting for them to reach out to you.
Read failure stories too: We tend to get impressed by success stories but often it happens that we don’t focus on the failures behind that story. We always would like to know what the recommended candidate did in this particular attempt but rarely do we discuss with him about his performance in the previous failed attempts. We could learn a lot of things through failure stories too as they will teach us about persistence, determination, and hard work.
It’s not limited to only recommended candidates as we should be reaching out to those conference out candidates too who have given multiple attempts but haven’t been recommended. They have walked your path on which you will walk and they might know about the mistakes they have committed and cost them their dream. Talk to them as some of them are willing to tell about their perceived mistakes so that the upcoming aspirants don’t commit them.
Contribute: You have been recommended and all set to join the academy. But what if you contribute what you have learned and how you have got the recommendation after facing all the odds. Each candidate has a different profile and someone will be able to feel synchronized with his story. Before going to the academy, why not start a podcast stating your entire journey till now or write a long article for aspirants. These will serve as a continuous source of motivation as well as preparation material for many candidates out there who are looking for it. It will not take much of your time to narrate your accounts, preparation methods, and tactics, notes, etc. You can talk to your juniors who are aspiring to join armed forces too and boost their confidence and motivation.
Raise a support system in your city: We have countless groups on social media channels where aspirants connect. Get out of that virtual box and step up for some physical interaction between all of you. Take an initiative and organize a meet. This meet can be of any nature such as weekly or fortnightly running or cycling sessions, or sessions about group discussions, lectures, outdoor physical activities, academics and all. Create a distinctive feature of your group and challenge other aspirants in other cities to form such groups too. Make these groups as a permanent support system for all the aspirants involved and try to induct as many juniors in it. A few of you will have some contacts or relatives in armed forces, reach out to them, and ask them to conduct some sessions for personality development, motivation, discipline, physical fitness, etc. This will help the non-defence background aspirants in getting a glance of the inside life of defence forces.
You can prepare for defence entrance exams such as NDA, AFCAT, INET, and CDS by taking Written Online courses as they will not only give you access to full-length quality lectures but will also provide the facility to take standardized mock tests for better study and strategic growth in the exam. You can take multiple quizzes after each lesson to ensure the full understanding of the subject along with creating your customized lesson plans. You can check out the course content along with other important specifics at SSBCrackExams.
You can also access them through the SSBCrackExams App available in the google play store.